Thursday, June 18, 2015
The "Real Dirt" on Chambers Bay
The US "British" Open
If you read my previous blog, you know that Open Championships were invented to lure American players to crappy courses in Europe. It worked so well, they now set the standard for our Open Championships. Phil Mickelson compared the course to St. Andrews.
Golf Channel debates why Europeans have won 4 of the last 5 US Opens? Is the Ryder Cup a factor? NO! We duplicated their courses morons!
Guess what grass is on the greens this week?
You can't even tell where the fairway ends and the green begins. Little white dots are scattered around so you know whether or not you can pick up your ball and mark it to put. Thaaat should be fun. The greens are so undulating and crooked - you have to face away from the hole when you put some of them. It's like putting on a poorly constructed "Hot Wheels" track. The only thing missing is a giant laughing clown mouth.
Fans are Pissed
I don't get it, We're not a third world country - bowing to a capitalist oligarchy in Scotland, Ireland England. If you ask Americans what they want - they will tell you - Not This!. We want scoring! We have Rolls Royce courses here the states that are so good - most international players can't even compete on them. The greens are too fast and pure. Two estranged friends of mine both complained today.
Michael: "It's a fricken rock quarry" I grew up around abandoned mines. That's what this is.
Ken: "What's with the brown? "I wanna see great golf, great approach shots. Why can't they play on a great course like Augusta?
They are pissed that such a prestigious sporting event has been turned into a boring, scoreless game of chance. As Tiger said (paraphrasing) "Players will hit a bad shot and end up next to the hole, others will stick it perfectly and end up 40 feet away in a giant weed for double bogey."
Something Stinks Here
Michael was right. Chambers Bay was a sand and gravel mine for a century. It became a sewage treatment plant in 1984, complete with sludge lagoons. 20 million was borrowed to build the course in 2005 and was re-payed through public sewer fees. Robert Tent Jones pocketed $900,000 for designing the place. No wonder George Castanza wanted to be an architect.
With greens fees too expensive for locals to afford - the course lost millions every year. Once it was awarded the US Open - it started to turn a profit in 2013. US Open related revenues are estimated around 148 Million. To be fair, good for them - more money means more jobs - right? Maybe. What happens when the Open's over? Who's gonna pay to play a shitty course in 2 years - just because an Open was held there once? Where was it last year? That's right - you forgot*. Every city that has hosted an Olympics - lost its ass. Locals are he ones that pay the price. I hope not - well see?
It's Getting Deep
Golf Channel analyst Todd Lewis proclaimed he had not heard one negative comment about the course from players. OMG! Someone grab a hose and put out his pants. Do they keep him in a toolbox - pun intended.
What's the name of that show? "Lies from the US Open"
Ryan Palmer: “As far as the greens are concerned, it’s not a championship golf course; not with the way some of the greens are and the pin placements they can put out there,”
Palmer also commented on the plan to switch pars back and forth from par 4 to par 5 from day to day. Something unheard of in golf - much less in a Major.
Palmer said. “It will get a lot of bad press from the players. It is a joke. I don’t understand it. I just don’t know why they would do it.
Ian Poulter, tweeted on April 28 that he had talked to some players who had been to the course and they told him it was a “farce,”
Luck will have it
This is nothing new, our Opens have been delegated to links courses for years now. I know they have beautiful ocean views, but no one wanted to play Pebble Beach or Torre Pines until they became majors. It has become about the architect, not the game. Firmer, turtle-back greens and thick unforgiving rough has become a prerequisite for majors. It's about defending the course from a low score, not about who plays the best golf.
What has Brown done for you?
I'm a big fan of water conservation. Water is by far the biggest expense in running a golf course. We're also running out of it in the west. My local 9 hole course "Taylormade Golf Experience" eliminated water hazards. Great move, the course hasn't changed, the course is green and beautiful.
A Bridge Too Far
The PGA just goes too far. Here in Vegas we have dozens of lush green golf courses surrounded by natural desert terrain. The the fairways are green, the rough is green, and the greens are still green. The PGA complains that balls go too far. They are running out of land. If that is truly a concern - don't dry out the fairways morons! And stop with the turtle back greens! We want to see pros stick approach shots! If we wanted to see missed shots - we'd just watch ourselves play.
Phil and Ricky gushed over how much they love the course this week. I'm thinking that's a bad strategy. Ricky had a great practice round and both are good on links courses. but now what? If I was playing against them I would say "Great, guess you'll shot 3 or 4 under on Thursday then! Let's see how Phil and Ricky feel on Friday afternoon and if they make the cut. I'm betting one of both of them won't.
As usual, the 21 year old Jordan Spieth was the mature voice of reason. His poker face was intact when interviewed by the Golf Channel;
"When you hit the tee for round #1 tomorrow, do you think you'll have a full understanding of how to play this course?
"I don't think so. No."
Jordans caddy Michael Greller was married there. Jordan played there in 2010 and Greller has worked the bag at Chambers Bay 40 times.
BTW, Ryan Moore lives nearby and is one of my top picks this week for that reason.
Thanks for the tip on that Michael.
Two caddies were already hurt on Wednesday, just walking this sh*t box.
The Good News!
is - it should be a fun weekend. Those 1000-1 tickets have a chance. I put $40 on the field at 20-1. It's like 85 players. So if you see a name you never heard of - I have them for $800. Like I said, it won't be a test of the best golfer, but watching the pros loose their sh*t could be entertaining.
The Bad News
is that luck will determine the winner this week as much as skill.
Congratulations Mike Davis!
You've managed to make a Sh*tty tournament even Sh*ittier
was once again the only honest analyst on the 700 Club, I mean Golf Channel. He stated plainly that what Davis has done is a mistake. If he had done his job - you wouldn't be hearing his name.
*Olympic Club - just so you don't rack your brain thinking about it all day.
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